2017/18 Champions League third qualifying round and 2017/18 Europa League third qualifying round draws in full:
Austria Vienna vs Progrès Niederkorn/AEL Limassol
Bordeaux vs Nõmme Kalju/Videoton
Astra Giurgiu/Zirë vs Olexandriya
Marseille vs Oostende
Arka Gdynia vs Ferencváros/Midtjylland
Brøndby/VPS Vaasa vs Hajduk Split/Levski Sofia
Beitar Jerusalem/ Botev Plovdiv vs Marítimo
Liepāja/Sūduva vs Sion
Olimpik Donetsk vs PAOK
CSU Craiova vs AC Milan
Irtysh Pavlodar/Crvena Xvezda vs Sparta Prague
Željeznicar/AIK vs Braga
Dinamo Bucharest vs Athletic Club
Valletta/Utrecht vs Haugesund/Lech Poznań
Aberdeen/Široki Brijeg (BIH) vs Apollon Limassol/Zaria Balti
Cork City/AEK Larnaca vs Rabotnicki/Dinamo Minsk
Everton vs Ružomberok/Brann
Freiburg vs Valur Reykjavík/Domžale
Maccabi Tel-Aviv/KR Reykjavík vs Panionios/Gorica
Dinamo Zagreb vs Vaduz/Odd
Östersunds/Galatasaray vs İnter Bakı /Fola Esch
Gent vs Altach/Dinamo Brest
Zenit vs Trenčín /Bnei Yehuda Tel-Aviv
Right, that draw didn't quite follow the formet we'd expected, and before you can say 'what the bleedin' 'eck is happening', it's done and dusted. The remaining ties are...
Shamrock Rovers/Mlada Boleslav vs Kairat Almaty/Skenderbeu
That's group 1. Now for group 2. This is Athletic Club's group.
Panathinaikos vs Gabala/Jagiellonia Bialystok
Sturm Graz/Mladost Podgorica vs Fenerbahce
Krasnodar vs Slovan Bratislava/Lyngby
Norrkoping/Trakai vs Shkendija/HJK Helsinki
First tie out of the hat is: PSV vs Osijek/Luzern
So, here we go. Group 1 first.
You're not missing anything - we're just hearing another version of the spiel that we've already been so kind as to give you.
The Europa League third qualifying round ties are scheduled for 27 July and 3 August.
Also to look out for are Russian big boys Zenit, Ligue 1's Marseille and Turkey's Fenerbahce, of course.
He seems to have a fly stuck in his throat.
So, here we go. Out comes Mr Marchetti.
As you may notice, Everton and Aberdeen are on opposite sides of the same group, so there could be Battle of Britain.
And group 5...
Here are groups 3 and 4...
Here are groups 1 and 2. As in the Champions League, teams seeded/not seeded depending on their coefficient.
Oh, and there's also Scottish interest in there in the form of Aberdeen...
So, it's a similar drill to the Champions League draw, except that there's no faffing about with 'routes'. The teams are split into five groups which, as in the UCL, are divided into two seeded and unseeded sections, with seeded teams being paired with unseeded teams from within their group.
Oh, and seven-time European champions AC Milan, anyone?
There's also the small matter of Everton and Wayne Rooney - who was on hand to lift the trophy with Manchester United just last month...
Who to look out for in the Europa League draw? Well, there's Spanish interest in the third qualifying round pot in the shape of Athletic Club, who finished 7th in the league and earned their place in the hat when Barcelona (who had already clinched a berth in the Champions League group stage) beat Alavés in the Copa del Rey final.
A reminder that the third qualifying round ties are to be played on 25/26 July (first leg) and 1/2 August (second leg).
Nice vs Ajax looks like the pick of those ties, wouldn't you say?
Well that's the third round qualifying draw for the Champions League. Would it have killed UEFA to provide some graphics during the draw?
Club Brugge vs Istanbul Basaksehir
AEK Athens vs CSKA Moscow
Dynamo Kyiv vs Young Boys
Nice vs Ajax
First draw out of the hat is: FCSB vs Viktoria Plzen
Now for the league route...
Partizan/Budućnost Podgorica vs Olympiacos
Qarabag/Samtredia vs Sheriff/Kukesi
Hibernians/Salzurg vs Rijeka/TNS
Viitorul vs APOEL/Dudelange
Hapoel Beer Sheeva/Honved vs Zalgiris Vilnius/Ludogorets
So that was group 1, now for group 2
Linfield/Celtic vs Dundalk/Rosenborg
Žilina/København vs Malmö/Vardar
Zrinjski/Maribor vs Hafnarfjördur/Víkingur
Slavia Prague vs BATE/Alashkert, Spartaks Jurmala/Astana vs IFK Mariehamn/Legia Warsaw
The first two ties out of the hat are...
Hold, on, there are balls out of the pot already. Blimey. That's unusually prompt.
So, out comes deputy general secretary Giorgio Marchetti. We're starting with the champions route, he says. As you may expect, there is a lot of laborious explanation. I can't get used to UEFA draws without Gianni Infantino.
Oh and by the way, the Champions League third qualifying round first legs will be played on 25/26 July, with the returns arranged for 1/2 August.
Here is the full line-up of the champions route teams:
Of particular note among the champions route teams are Brendan Rodgers' Celtic - who are up against Linfield in the second qualifying round. Not forgetting recent and/or regular group-stage participants such as Olympiacos, Malmo, Ludogorets, Legia Warsaw, Copenhagen, Bate and APOEL.
As the second round ties in the champions route are still to be concluded, brace yourself for a lot of either-ors in the draw...
Meanwhile, the champions route features the 17 winners of the second qualifying round ties - which are to be concluded on 18 and 19 July - and the champions of the Czech Republic, Greece and Romania. They have been split into two groups of ten, which in turn have been divided into five seeded and five unseeded teams, with the third qualifying round pairings coming from within each group.
Oh, and the teams? They are: Seeded: Dynamo Kyiv, Ajax, Viktoria Plzen, CSKA Moscow. Unseeded: FCSB, Young Boys, Nice, Istanbul Basaksehir, AEK Athens
Based on their coefficients, those eight clubs have been divided into four seeded and four unseeded teams, from which four seeded vs unseeded third round qualifying ties will be drawn.
So, I guess you'll be wanting to know who's involved. Well, the first thing to clarify is that it'll be a draw split into two sections, or 'routes': the league route and the champions route. The league route - which features the third-placed team from Ligue 1 and the runners-up in the 7th to 15th-ranked associations -Ukraine, Netherlands, Czech Rep., Russia, Belgium, Romania, Switzerland, Turkey and Greece - is headlined by four-time tournament winners and 2016/17 Europa League runners-up Ajax.
So join us at 12:00 CEST to find out who'll be facing who at the penultimate hurdle to a coveted place in the Champions League group stage. Then, after the Champions League is sorted, we'll be talking you through the draw for the same stage of the continent's second-tier competition at 13:00.
Good morning! It's only 41 days since Real Madrid captain Sergio Ramos hoisted the 2016/17 Champions League trophy aloft in Cardiff, and only 10 more since Manchester United saw off Ajax to claim the Europa League title, but qualifying for the competitions' 2017/18 editions is already well underway! So much so that today sees the draws for the third qualifying rounds of each tournament...