Want to watch all of Euro 2020...get into the bedroom now!
If you want your maternity (and paternity) leave to coincide with the European Championships, it's time to start having a lot of sex.
There are nine months left until the European Championships 2020, and in England social media is abuzz with talk of fertility, getting pregnant and how to ensure your maternity and, in particular paternity, leave coincides with the tournament dates - 12 June to 12 July next summer.
By my calculations if I get the missus pregnant this week, I will be in line for 2 weeks paternity leave whilst the Euro 2020 football tournament is on! pic.twitter.com/BAvB3n6aSg— skintsolicitor (@skintsolicitor2) September 4, 2019
Notably many of the comments on the subject are from blokes who appear to consider paternity leave just another holiday, without any new commitments. They may be in for a shock. Even more so when they find out us girls are thinking about using our maternity leave for exactly the same reason.
June baby for Euro 2020
Joking aside about a subject that can be so complicated and the source of suffering when things don't go to plan, if you are thinking about how the arrival of a little one could mean being able to watch all of Euro 2020, let's do some calculations: if you're last period finished on 26 August and you're a woman with a fairly normal menstrual cycle of 30 days then you've got the next three days to get pregnant for a baby around 1 June, meaning plenty of time to get home and ready for the tournament. If you've got a shorter cycle, say 28 days, then get going now, you've maybe only got today, Monday, and tomorrow!
If you get your wife pregnant now you’ll get 2 weeks paternity leave in 9 months for Euro2020. Enjoy 😉 ⚽️— Giuseppe Jj Bognanni (@BognanniG) August 28, 2019
If you're lucky enough to get the two lines on the pregnancy test, your maternity leave in many countries will mean you can see the entire European Championships. What's more, no matter how good the birth, us women almost always suffer some discomfort afterwards, meaning dad should be on hand with his parternity leave to pamper you, look after you and make sure everything is organised for you and the little one. Even if the birth was absolutely perfect and you're fine, you can always try a little exaggerated acting to make sure you've got prime spot on the sofa for the games you want to watch.
Why not wait a month...
Even if you don't get lucky this month, don't worry, I've got an even better plan for you. Next month you've got another chance. In which case if things happen you'll be eight months pregnant just when the tournament starts, right about the time the doctors tend to start signing expectant mums off sick. Fat, swollen, uncomfortable... are you going to be cleaning, sorting out the baby's nursery or getting the clothes ready for the latest member of the family? No! You couldn't possibly. You're off sick. You need to rest! So, just before kick-off, take your spot on the sofa with a few cold alcohol-free (of course) beers and enjoy the match! What's more, baby will be snug and warm in your belly and there won't be any crying, screaming or nappy-changing to interrupt the game.
Thinking about it, is it better to get pregnant right now... or next month?
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