If you appear calm in a crisis situation, psychology says you have these characteristics

We tend to admire the person who stays calm and unshaken in the middle of chaos. In many workplaces, that composure is treated as a sign of strength.

Orla, a crisis‑communications professional in Dublin, was even praised by her bosses as “unbreakable” during an especially intense week on the job. But inside, she felt hollow — a stark contrast to the steady exterior she showed everyone else.

That outward calm isn’t always a consciously developed skill. For many people, it’s a learned response shaped by earlier experiences of pain, instability, or emotional risk. Popular culture often celebrates this kind of composure, linking it to emotional maturity, leadership, and the ability to handle pressure.

One participant in a resilience workshop in Dublin described growing up in a home where any emotional reaction could trigger a negative response. Over time, he learned to shut down his feelings automatically. To others, that looked like level‑headedness. A therapist, however, called it what it was: chronic emotional inhibition.

The price of appearing unshakable

Research on avoidant attachment — including work by psychologists Jeffry Simpson and W. Steven Rholes — shows that some children learn to “switch off” their emotions before they even fully surface. As adults, they often become the people everyone turns to in tough moments, reinforcing what some experts call an “emotional utility trap”: you’re valued for your steadiness, not for your humanity.

The consequences aren’t always obvious, but they build over time. Studies link habitual emotional suppression to lower social satisfaction, reduced emotional closeness, and a growing sense of disconnection from oneself.

People who constantly play the role of the strong, steady one can end up feeling emotionally unreachable — the reliable support for everyone else, yet rarely feeling supported themselves. Psychology suggests that this admired calm may actually be a survival strategy learned long ago, one that continues to shape how a person relates to others well into adulthood.

Get your game on! Whether you’re into NFL touchdowns, NBA buzzer-beaters, world-class soccer goals, or MLB home runs, our app has it all.

Dive into live coverage, expert insights, breaking news, exclusive videos, and more – plus, stay updated on the latest in current affairs and entertainment. Download now for all-access coverage, right at your fingertips – anytime, anywhere.