If you prefer solitude to socializing, psychology suggests you have these 7 characteristics

Preferring to flake out on the couch on a Friday afternoon reading a book instead of going out to a crowded bar doesn’t necessarily mean that someone is “antisocial.” More often, they prefer those moments of peace and quiet alone instead of the hustle and bustle of being among a lot of people.

It’s another lifestyle that can also be combined with that of someone with more active social preferences. A moment alone is something that hasn’t always been well-regarded, as it has often been associated with the term “antisocial.”

To delve deeper into this topic, modern psychology researchers have differentiated two types of loneliness. One is intended for relaxation and self-knowledge, and is what people who prefer to stay home reading or watching a series on the couch would experience. The other type of loneliness is more aggressive and coincides with a feeling of social disconnection and is often accompanied by low self-esteem.

In a podcast published by the American Psychological Association, academics Thuy-Vy Nguyen and Netta Weinstein explained the qualities that people who voluntarily maintain a more solitary lifestyle may exhibit over time. Some of these characteristics include reduced stress hormones, sharper cognition, and an overall improved mood.

Strengths and qualities: Self-awareness

A qualitative study published by the National Library of Medicine warns that people who choose to spend time alone develop an increasingly deeper understanding of themselves. These moments of solitude allow thoughts and memories to surface that the mind prefers to push aside in the presence of others. These minutes alone allow for frank and sincere answers to those questions that remain unanswered.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, many people were forced to spend long periods alone with their memories and insecurities. “Did I do the right thing by asking him that?” “Why were we really arguing?” Asking questions like these in a solitary setting allows for honest, self-contained answers, removing any prejudices or social pretenses.

Creativity

Some artists and scientists prefer quiet environments away from the hustle and bustle of cities. This is no coincidence. In a study of the theory of solitary behavior, psychologists Long and Averill concluded that people who voluntarily took time alone displayed greater originality, innovative insights, and imaginative daydreams.

Neuroscientists have theorized that the brain’s neural network operates without limitations during moments of greatest loneliness. This allows for greater originality when creating art, solving mathematical equations, or planning business strategies.

Autonomy

The ability to act without constant comparison and without pressure from society is a quality that these moments alone with oneself offer. Richard Ryan and Edward Deci have affirmed this fundamental characteristic in Self-Determination Theory, which explains that human beings can only thrive when autonomy, competence, and connection are fulfilled.

The development of this quality allows for greater clarity when choosing according to one’s own tastes, making it easier to refuse proposals that one does not like or convince.

Emotional regulation

Within Self-Determination Theory, Nguyen, Ryan, and Deci conducted a series of experiments with adults, asking them to spend 15 minutes alone every day. Those who disconnected from the rest of society for a moment began to develop greater calm and emotional regulation over time. Meditating, naming your feelings, or reframing certain events allows you to face stressful situations in the future with more calm and patience.

Deep Focus

Cal Newport, in his book Deep Work, confesses that sustained, undistracted concentration is the gold standard for achieving high-value results. Talking to someone in the hallway or responding to a text message can affect the performance of complex tasks. Complete solitude for a period of time helps limit your attention span to only what you want to do.

Depth of the relationship

According to a study published by the National Library of Medicine, adults who spend more time alone prefer to invest their time socializing in closer circles rather than maintaining several superficial ties with many people. This is because they significantly value time with other people and prefer to spend it with people who will truly satisfy the social time that every human being requires.

Intrinsic motivation

Choosing a hobby based on the standards imposed by society is more common than one might imagine. Reading philosophy or engaging in spiritual reflection might seem like the work of a wise and determined person, but more often than not, people who pursue these activities are simply seeking social approval.

Doing what you enjoy alone, regardless of whether it’s socially acceptable or not, emphasizes what’s known as “positive solitude.” The study Deconstructing Loneliness and Its Links to Well-being emphasizes this type of loneliness and notes that its long-term development allows people to strengthen intrinsic motivation and improve their well-being.

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