Janelle Peifer, clinical psychologist, on positive reinforcement: “You’re getting intermittent reinforcements that are like gas in the tank”
Wanting to be lazy and put things off is part of human nature, but doing so can lead to a feeling of failure. Here’s how to get yourself out of that rut.
We all know that vicious cycles tend to lead to a downward spiral and virtuous ones will lift us up. The latter is preferable but making it happen can seem like a daunting if not impossible task.
When it comes to avoiding doing things like working out or tackling what seem like arduous tasks, clinical psychologist and assistant professor at the University of Richmond, Janelle Peifer, shared with SELF ways that we can get ourselves out of our stupor and moving down the right path. It involves positive reinforcement.
Putting gas in the tank
The hardest part is generally taking the first step, especially when it seems like you have an uphill climb ahead of you. Peifer says that you should look the challenge in the face and acknowledge that it won’t be a walk in the park. By doing this, you tamp down those negative feelings that somehow you’re failure, thus increasing the odds that you will follow through.
Another bit of advice from the psychologist is to not bite off more than you can chew, taking on what you need to do in bite-sized portions. She says that you should focus on each step as you go and not get ahead of yourself, which will help you make it to the finish line.
Once you’ve accomplished what needed to be done, the positive feelings you have will help create a virtuous feedback loop. “You’re getting intermittent reinforcements that are like gas in the tank,” Peifer explains.
Additionally, you can help foster those positive feelings by changing your focus from completing the task to enjoying the process of seeing it to the end. New York-based therapist Claudia Giolitti-Wright told SELF that “avoidance often gets worse when the goal is outcome-based.”
Another bit of advice from Peifer is to find someone to team up with to hold you accountable. “Feeling committed to and supported by other people can be really helpful,” she says.
And know that it is alright to sometimes allow yourself to slack or postpone and most importantly not to beat yourself up about it, says Giolitti-Wright. Pacing oneself or recognizing something is out of your reach is perfectly healthy and doesn’t have to be considered a major setback.
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