Mark Travers, psychologist, says these are some of the things the happiest couples say and do: “You’ve got this”

A good relationship is based on working together, knowing that the parties involved form a team to tackle what may come. The knowledge that the each one has the others back is fundamental in the happiness of a couple, but this isn’t something that can just be assumed to exist, it needs to be reinforced actively.

While this can be made apparent at any time of the day, according to Mark Travers, a psychologist who studies couples, the happiest ones start the day off on the right foot. They take advantage of the mornings to make sure that both know they are on the same team before heading out the door to face the respective challenges that await them that day.

Habits and routines that can ensure a relationship thrives and bring happiness

Travers gives a list of seven habits and routines, which were published on CNBC, that the happiest couples practice to productively use their mornings, “one of the most underestimated aspects of a relationship,” says the psychologist, which are overlooked by many. These are small gestures that can go a long way toward strengthening a relationship and buttressing each party for the day to come.

First and foremost, he says couples “resist the urge to rush past each other” and instead “make a point to acknowledge one another before shifting into work mode.” This can be done with eye contact when saying “good morning” as well as sharing a moment of calm having coffee or tea together.

Lest you and your partner are quick risers, alert from the get-go, it’s best to avoid diving headfirst into the day with a heavy conversation, instead quietly syncing first. Travers explains that people’s cortisol levels, the body’s main stress hormone, are naturally elevated so “trying to tackle nuance or conflict too early can activate that response even more.”

Likewise, “happy couples keep morning communication light, but still honest,” he says. They share what they are feeling, without going into a full breakdown of their emotional state, which can help the other party interpret what the other’s temperament is that day.

The human mind and body thrive on routines and rituals, and so too do relationships. Travers says that it is important to have an “our thing” that is “simple enough for you to repeat daily without struggle,” to help reaffirm your identity as a couple.

Along those lines, including meaningful physical contact in your morning routine is something that “happier couples don’t budge on,” he notes. “Regardless of what suits you, any kind of physical contact like this can activate oxytocin and calm the nervous system, which helps both partners feel steadier as they separate,” he has observed.

Happy couples treat mornings as a “shared operation,” Travers points out. The start of the day can be hectic for anyone, especially if all the mental and physical workload of the house falls upon one person.

“It doesn’t have to look like perfect fairness every day,” as some days one partner will have more to juggle than the other. Just be mindful and make adjustments when necessary to divide up and tackle the tasks that need doing before you leave the house.

Last but not least, be sure to let your partner know that you have their back and that “you’re emotionally attuned to the things that matter to them,” even when you’re not together, before going in your separate directions for the day.

Travers says, “the happiest couples will always offer at least one small yet specific gesture of support.” Telling them things like “Good luck with your presentation today,” or “You’ve got this,” can give them the boost they may need to take some weight off the challenges that await your partner.

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