This psychological research could help shorten the pain that partners go through.

Relationships

Psychologists reveal 10 tactics cheaters use to hide their affairs – and how to spot them

Update: Jun 16th, 2025 14:18 EDT

In modern relationships, there is a constant fear of being cheated on, which can be one of the most emotionally painful experiences a person can go through. That persistent uncertainty can keep you up at night, make you doubt everything, and slowly erode the trust in your relationship.

A psychological study published in Personality and Individual Differences revealed the tactics and strategies used by cheaters to conceal their infidelity. The goal of this research is to help people identify these behaviors before it’s too late or before the situation escalates into something worse.

Psychologists reveal 10 tactics cheaters use to hide their affairs – and how to spot them

According to the study’s author, cheaters use more than 53 different strategies to hide their affairs, and up to 70% of them employ at least seven or more at the same time.

Most common strategies to hide infidelity

This psychological study identified 10 key tactics that cheaters commonly use to keep their affairs hidden:

Sudden Increase in Attention & Affection

In an effort to cover up their infidelity, they may shower you with excessive love, including more hugs, kisses, gifts, and acts of kindness than usual. This boost in attention is often a distraction tactic to avoid raising suspicion.

No Digital Traces

Cheaters often delete messages, social media follow requests, and call logs to ensure no suspicious activity is left on their devices. They may also silence notifications to avoid being caught receiving messages when they’re with their partner.

Burner Phones or Secret Email Accounts

Some cheaters go as far as purchasing a second phone to communicate with the person they’re seeing, ensuring no record exists on their main phone. These hidden communication channels allow them to manage a double life and lower the risk of getting caught.

Everything Is Password-Protected

Many cheaters frequently change their passwords and add extra layers of security to social media, apps, and specific folders on their devices. This ensures that their partner cannot access any incriminating information.

Extreme Discretion

Cheaters tend to meet their lovers in remote, discreet locations where they are unlikely to be recognized. They meticulously plan encounters and often use work meetings or other obligations as excuses to explain their absence.

A “New Friend” Suddenly Appears

If they can’t completely hide their affair, they might introduce their lover as a new friend or coworker. If suspicions arise, they will downplay concerns by insisting that this person is “just a friend.

Short & Concise Interactions

To avoid suspicion, cheaters keep their interactions brief and ensure the affair does not last too long. The goal is to reduce the risk of getting caught by keeping the relationship short-lived.

Maintaining Normal Behavior

Many cheaters make a conscious effort to act normal around their partner to avoid raising any red flags. They continue speaking and behaving as usual, which makes it harder to detect any changes.

Using Friends as Alibis

Cheaters often use friends as cover stories, claiming to be spending time with them when they are actually with their lover. If suspicions arise, they rely on trusted friends to vouch for them.

Calm & Collected Demeanor

They carefully plan when and how to spend time with their partner to avoid unexpected confrontations. Additionally, they stay composed when questioned, ensuring they do not appear nervous or guilty, which could lead to further suspicion.

Understanding these behaviors can help individuals recognize the warning signs and potentially prevent prolonged emotional distress caused by infidelity.