Relationships

Swinger couples vs. liberal couples: here’s the difference

Understanding the emotional line in modern relationship styles that separates physical exploration from romantic freedom.

Vanessa Nunes | DiarioAS

Laura Martin Sanjuan Roddy Cons

Update: Jul 25th, 2025 08:39 EDT

In a time when more couples are looking beyond traditional monogamy—not because “anything goes,” but because many want to explore love and sex in a way that feels freer (always consensually, of course)—understanding different relationship styles has become increasingly relevant. Some couples try them once, some stick with them, and others realize they’re just not the right fit.

Among the most visible of these alternative models are swinger relationships and open relationships. They may look similar on the surface, but they differ significantly in intention, emotional boundaries, and structure.

What is a swinger couple?

Swinger couples engage in consensual sexual encounters with other couples, typically in designated settings like private parties or lifestyle clubs. These experiences are generally centered around shared erotic exploration, not emotional connection.

According to a study published by Isabel Cristina Bernal Vélez and her research team in Revista Virtual Universidad Católica del Norte, a Spanish academic publication, the swinger model emphasizes emotional fidelity within the core relationship, while allowing for sexual openness with others.

The origins of swinging

The word “swinger” comes from “swing,” evoking the idea of “swinging” between sexual partners—much like the music and culture of mid-century America. The term gained traction in the 1950s, particularly in the U.S., where the practice of partner-swapping emerged in certain social circles after World War II.

Some early accounts link the origins of swinging to American military communities stationed overseas in places like the Philippines. One controversial theory suggests that soldiers, sometimes deployed for years, gave their closest friends “permission” to sleep with their wives while they were away—an idea clearly steeped in outdated, patriarchal views but one that reflects how the concept was framed at the time.

By the 1960s and ‘70s, swinging became more associated with the hippie movement, where it was part of a broader push toward sexual freedom. Still, it often faced backlash due to its ties with other countercultural elements like recreational drug use and anti-establishment politics.

What is an open (or “liberal”) couple?

Open couples take a broader, more flexible approach to non-monogamy. In this model, partners may have ongoing sexual—or even emotional—relationships with other people, all within clearly defined and mutually agreed-upon boundaries.

Unlike swinging, which tends to be occasional and involves other couples or group settings, open relationships can include repeated or more intimate connections with individuals outside the primary relationship.

Luis Lozano, a specialist in relationships and sexuality, points out that many open relationships aim to resolve the problem of infidelity through radical honesty and mutual consent, rather than secrecy or betrayal.

The biggest difference between swinger and open couples comes down to emotional exclusivity. Swingers typically keep emotional intimacy within the primary couple, while open relationships might allow for emotional bonds with others. This doesn’t always mean full-blown polyamory, but it does involve more emotional flexibility.

Navigating this space requires excellent communication and emotional intelligence to avoid misunderstandings and to preserve the health of the main relationship—sometimes evolving into a “don’t ask, don’t tell” dynamic.

Are these relationship models healthy?

From a psychological perspective, both models can be healthy and fulfilling—if they’re based on mutual respect, honest communication, and clear boundaries. But it has to be something both partners truly want. If one person is all-in and the other is simply going along with it, the imbalance can lead to significant emotional pain.

Psychologist and sexologist Silvia Olmedo has emphasized in multiple interviews that open dialogue and well-defined rules are essential for any non-monogamous relationship to thrive. Not everyone is emotionally prepared for these arrangements, and each couple should take time to assess their needs and limitations before jumping in.

What’s the impact on relationships?

Studies like one led by Bernal Vélez show that swinger couples often report high levels of sexual satisfaction and shared excitement, while open couples tend to value autonomy and mutual trust. That said, both face challenges—including jealousy, insecurity, and social stigma.

Many choose to keep their relationship model private, avoid sharing with friends or family, or even change social circles altogether. After all, not everyone is ready to hear about, let alone accept, these dynamics without judgment.