Why the philosopher of “liquid modernity” believed modern society makes ending relationships easier than truly sustaining them.
Zygmunt Bauman, philosopher: “The art of breaking off relationships and emerging unscathed far surpasses the art of building relationships”
Zygmunt Bauman, winner of Spain’s Prince of Asturias Award for Communication and Humanities in 2010, was a philosopher and sociologist who devoted his career to studying social structures. His life was shaped by upheaval early on. He fled Nazi persecution as a young man and, years later, was forced to leave Poland again during an antisemitic campaign carried out under the Soviet-backed regime.
Zygmunt Bauman‘s defining idea
Bauman eventually settled in Leeds, England, where he became an emeritus professor and found a measure of calm after decades marked by displacement. It was there that he developed the idea of “liquid modernity,” a term that captured his belief that we live in an era where nothing is meant to last. Not institutions, not careers, and not even human relationships.
According to Bauman, stability had given way to constant change. Social structures that once offered permanence now feel provisional, easily reshaped or abandoned as circumstances shift.
Love in an age of constant choice
That same logic underpinned his theory of “liquid love,” which applied the idea of modernity to intimate relationships. Bauman described romantic bonds as increasingly fragile, shaped by consumer culture and lacking deep commitment. Individuals crave freedom and flexibility, and digital environments, from dating apps to social platforms, reinforce the sense that there is always someone else just a swipe away.
This abundance of choice, Bauman argued, can encourage early breakups in the hope of finding a better partner, turning relationships into temporary arrangements rather than long-term commitments.
Freedom versus commitment
In that context, Bauman famously summed up his thinking with a stark observation: “The art of ending relationships without getting hurt far outweighs the art of building them.” Ending a relationship allows individuals to protect their personal freedom and avoid commitment through what he described as a culture of avoidance. Building a relationship, by contrast, requires effort, negotiation, and above all, vulnerability.
The ideal of the “liquid” individual is to enter and exit relationships without being deeply affected by them. Yet Bauman warned that avoiding emotional pain also blocks personal growth. It reflects a hedonistic view of love, focused on personal satisfaction, rather than a willingness to care for and invest in another person.
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