If NFL owners ran Fantasy teams: Jerry Jones, Mark Davis, and more
Fantasy football is stressful enough when you’re deciding between two backup TEs on a bye week. But imagine if NFL owners were in charge of setting lineups.
Fantasy football is about strategy, analytics, and making smart decisions. But what if NFL owners - the people running real-life franchises - were the ones setting your lineup? Would they play it safe, chase big names, or blow up their team entirely just to make a splash?
Here’s how a few owners might handle their weekly rosters.
What your Fantasy lineup would look like if billionaires were in charge
Jerry Jones (Dallas Cowboys):
Drafts three running backs in the first five rounds, all of them former Cowboys. Holds a 30-minute press conference about it. Refuses to bench a star even when injured because “he’s a franchise cornerstone.” Spends Tuesday morning blaming the head coach when things went wrong. Dropping a waiver claim? Only if it comes with a marketing deal.
After being asked one question, Jerry Jones talked for 11 minutes and 5 seconds straight
— Josh Norris (@JoshNorris) August 28, 2025
no one loves a press conference more than this man pic.twitter.com/8zuqLlLjIQ
Mark Davis (Las Vegas Raiders):
Drafts purely based on vibes. Prioritizes flashy wide receivers with great haircuts. Spends big on a kicker. Ignores bye weeks entirely, insisting his guys “just win, baby.” Rolls with an empty RB2 slot before ever admitting he made a mistake.
Robert Kraft (New England Patriots):
Goes zero-RB strategy but accidentally ends up with four tight ends. Claims it’s “innovative.” Drafts Tom Brady at QB on the off chance he unretires again.
Mike Brown (Cincinnati Bengals):
Drafts only AFC North players. Refuses to spend Free Agent Acquisition Budget on waivers because it’s “too expensive.”
The Rooney Family (Pittsburgh Steelers)
Play the long game. No flashy pickups, no desperate trades - just solid, consistent lineups that make the playoffs every year. It wouldn’t be sexy, but you’d respect the results.
If NFL owners actually set fantasy lineups, leagues would implode in weeks. Trades would be blocked by ego, waivers would be delayed for press tours, and Jerry Jones would somehow still end up on TV.
Maybe it’s better if we stick to stressing over backup tight ends after all.
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