The most ridiculous stats that suggest Drake Maye and New England Patriots won’t win

I’d like to preface this article by saying this might be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever written. It’s been almost two weeks since the last football game and evidently us journalists are running out of things to talk about and to research.

Maye’s battle outside Xs and Os

Having said that, if you are a fan of made up stats that have little to nothing to do with the game, this is the article for you. It appears that Drake Maye isn’t just set to go up against the Seattle Seahawks top rated defense, but he has to try and battle against a trio of stats that have very little to do with Xs and Os.

Apparently, according to the statisticians, there has never been a starting quarterback in the Super Bowl that has led his team to victory with a last name shorter than five letters. Maye of course has just four letters in his last name and that doesn’t bode well for Drake or the Pats.

Wait, it gets worse. Jay Cuda who covers the Chicago White Sox mostly according to his X account has done the research and found out that QBs whose first and last name end in the same letter are 0-6 in the Super Bowl. I’m going out on a limb and taking Mr. Cuda’s word for this, because I myself have not done the research too look into every starting QB over the last 60 years.

Darnold has history on his side

One stat he did back up with facts, was the fact that no QB with the initials D.M has ever won the Super Bowl. There have ever only been two QBs in the history of the game to start a Super Bowl with the initials D.M. one was Dan Marino, and the other was Donovan McNabb. Marino lost the 1985 Super Bowl to Joe Montana and the San Francisco 49ers while McNabb lost to Tom Brady and the New England Patriots in 2005.

On the flip side, QBs with three letter first names have a +.500 record in the Super Bowl. There have been 39 Super Bowls played between 12 different QBs who have three letter first names. Of those 39 games, 22 were won by QBs with three letter names.

• Ben Roethlisberger
• Bob Griese
• Eli Manning
• Jim McMahon
• Jim Plunkett
• Joe Flacco
• Joe Montana
• Joe Namath
• Joe Theisman
• Ken Stabler
• Len Dawson
• Tom Brady

This all means very little to Sam Darnold and Drake Maye who will line up under center on Sunday from Santa Clara, California when the the Seahawks take on the Patriots in Super Bowl LX from Levi’s Stadium.

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