A married couple decides to have an open relationship and points out the rules it has: “They guarantee that the experiment will work”

In “Ask Me How It Works,” writer Deepa Paul recounts how she and her husband reached agreements to live an open marriage, with solid foundations, without affecting their daughter, and about which no one else has any reason to know.

“I learned from a very young age that difference has its own power,” one of the phrases in her book comes from her grandmother, who whispered mantras to her to concentrate, calm down, relax, and even to treat certain ailments, which she gradually incorporated into her daily life.

And in that daily life, married with a daughter, she recounts in her book the foundations of her marriage: an open relationship with rules, so that it works and no one suffers, at least in her marriage, since every family and every couple is a world only they know.

Rules for an Open Relationship

Safe sex, always, especially at a time when STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) have increased significantly in recent years.

A prearranged schedule. Families know that squeezing through a week is a juggling act. If you add mom and dad’s private lives to field trips, extracurricular activities, sports competitions, and doctor’s appointments, everything gets complicated. But in this case, organization is key, and Google Calendar helps you always have a clear schedule for each person, emphasizing that time with others can’t exceed family time.

Communicate who you’re with—a personal safety rule so that if anything happens, the other person has an address and phone number they can call.

Consider your partner’s feelings. Yes, you don’t want to hurt anyone, but rather want everyone to enjoy themselves and add the benefits of an open relationship to the family. If one of the two does not want the other to leave, they can say so, but it will only be a request, not an order, requirement, or ultimatum.

No partners are allowed at home, a rule to protect their daughter and preserve the boundaries between family life and love life.

No coworkers, another measure to protect the family’s financial stability.

Friends, yes, but not each other’s friends, a rule that prevents problems of many kinds.

Sleeping out of the house is not allowed; that intimate moment of waking up next to your partner is reserved for marriage.

No explicit details are allowed unless requested. He doesn’t want to know anything, and she, on the other hand, wants to know everything. “The details fueled my lust, but they put his out,” she says.

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No more than one date a week. Family time is respected, especially at a time when jobs are very demanding, family demands are high, and having quality time together is essential for this family. It doesn’t mean that having one date a week is mandatory, but rather that it’s the maximum. The author acknowledges that it’s much easier for a woman to consistently find dates through the various apps. All these rules “guarantee that the experiment works,” according to Deepa Paul.

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