Dr. Marc Brackett, psychologist, on emotional intelligence: “We master strategies for regulating our emotions”

In a recent Psychology Today piece by cultural psychologist Marianna Pogosyan, Dr. Marc Brackett reflects on a question he has spent more than two decades trying to answer: how do we actually get better at handling our inner lives?

How to master emotional intelligence

For Brackett, director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, the answer is neither mystical nor fixed at birth. It comes down to skills, those that anyone can learn.

Brackett argues that emotional intelligence is best understood through practical actions rather than personality traits. In the interview, he breaks down the core competencies behind the well-established RULER model: recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing and regulating emotions. That last component is where he insists the real growth happens.

As he puts it, we “master strategies for regulating our emotions,” not through suppression or avoidance, but through intentional habits that help us align our reactions with our goals.

Andrew Huberman also spoke with Dr. Brackett on his podcast.

Calm and confident is not always EQ

He pushes back against the idea that calmness or confidence equals emotional intelligence. Those are outcomes, not indicators. The real measure, he says, is whether we can identify what we’re feeling, understand why it’s happening and choose responses that support the relationships and futures we care about.

Brackett is equally clear that so-called negative emotions aren’t enemies. Anxiety, frustration and sadness are information. Regulation, in his view, means working with them rather than rushing to silence them.

EQ is for everyone

If emotional intelligence is a lifelong project, Brackett’s message is that it’s a democratic one. Anyone can build these skills, and everyone benefits when we do.

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