Javier Urra, psychologist specializing in mental health: “I wouldn’t tell my partner everything; I’ve been with her for 47 years”

Generally speaking, romantic relationships are built on trust, respect, commitment, and open communication. That’s why, when something significant happens to one partner, it’s normal for their significant other to be the first - or at least one of the first - to know about it.

Against this backdrop, Javier Urra, a psychologist specializing in mental health, appeared on Vidas Contadas, a podcast hosted by the Spanish journalist Enric Sánchez. There, Urra explained that he chooses not to tell his partner absolutely everything: “Do you tell your partner everything? That’s a question you really need to ask yourself,” he began.

“I wouldn’t tell my partner everything. I’ve been with Araceli for 47 years, but why would I tell her every single thing?” the psychologist continued. “So what shouldn’t we share?” asked Sánchez, clearly intrigued.

“Well, anything that could cause unnecessary pain. Talking about things I did before meeting my partner, for example. It could trigger jealousy, and at that point she can’t compete with someone from the past […]. Courage sometimes means speaking up - and other times, staying silent,” he concluded.

A split reaction among users

The video - now with tens of thousands of views, nearly 11,000 likes, and more than a hundred comments - has sparked widespread interest. Among viewers, the divide is clear: some support the psychologist’s perspective, while others firmly disagree.

“How can you not tell your partner that a family member is dying?”, “It’s scary to have someone by your side who hides things they’ve done or are doing”, “Well said - unfiltered honesty is useless”, and “Honesty becomes cruelty when it lacks empathy” are just a few of the many reactions visible beneath the post.

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