According to this expert, the origins of psychological wounds can be traced back to help asses and overcome.
Mariana Cordiviola, psychologist: “When a person brings me a problem, the root is always, always, always the same”
When people decide to go to therapy, they usually do so because of a specific problem: anxiety, relationship difficulties, low self-esteem, persistent sadness, or a sense of emptiness. However, as the therapeutic process unfolds, a common pattern often emerges – the roots of that distress do not lie in the present, but in experiences lived during childhood.
This is confirmed by psychologist Mariana Cordiviola in an interview: “No matter what someone does, who they meet, or what they read, when a person brings me a problem, the root is always, always, always in childhood. You can’t grow a plant whose roots are rotten. It’s impossible. You always have to start at the root.”
Even so, she encourages people to move forward and live: “If you’re afraid, I always say the antidote to fear is kisses, animals, hugging animals… I mean, it’s possible: I’m going to take a risk, I’m going to jump in the pool – you have to live. Why are you here? To live. It’s terrible when people only start living after they’re given a terrifying diagnosis. Live now, from this moment, from this second,” she adds.
A key stage of personality development
Childhood is a crucial stage in the construction of personality. In those early years, the foundations are laid for how a person sees themselves, how they understand affection, how they manage emotions, and what they expect from others. Repeated experiences – both positive and painful – leave deep marks that, even when not fully conscious, shape adult life.
Many of the issues addressed in therapy are linked to early emotional deprivation. Growing up in an environment where affection was scarce, unpredictable, or conditional can produce adults who constantly seek validation, fear abandonment, or feel they are never enough. Likewise, a childhood marked by ongoing criticism or excessive demands often translates into a harsh, punishing inner voice.
This is not only about extreme situations such as abuse or neglect. Sometimes emotional wounds arise from more subtle dynamics: emotionally unavailable parents, a lack of listening, roles imposed too early, or the systematic invalidation of a child’s feelings. These experiences implicitly teach which emotions are acceptable and which must be hidden.
Exploring childhood within a therapeutic space allows the past to be reinterpreted. By putting words to what was lived, validating old emotions, and recognizing needs that were not met, people begin to build a more compassionate relationship with themselves. This process does not mean remaining stuck in the past, but understanding it in order to transform it.
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