New trend among young people: Why Generation Z might have trouble in the love department, according to experts

Concerns are arising among some psychologists and mental health experts regarding a new social media trend among Generation Xers known as “floodlighting.” This term, popularized by Dr. Brené Brown, refers to a method of quickly accelerating intimacy between friends by sharing numerous personal details. Brown suggests that rather than building genuine friendships, those who engage in floodlighting may be testing their new connection to see if it will endure

However, many people can attest that learning too much about someone too quickly can be overwhelming. It can create a sense of responsibility that may hinder the development of a future friendship.

The term was discussed by The LadyGang Podcast in an episode filmed last year.

The differences between oversharing an vulnerability

In her 2013 book The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections and Courage, Brown works to highlight the powerful effects of vulnerability to creating lasting and deep relationships, but makes sure to distinguish the practice with “oversharing,” which she calls “floodlighting” when taken to an extreme. “A lot of times we share too much information as a way to protect us from vulnerability,” explains the doctor of social work, adding that it can be used as a defense mechanism as our “behavior [...] confirms our fear.” Often, individuals who overshare may not realize the impact their behavior has on others.

Addressing the root of the issue

Fortunately, there are ways to avoid falling into the trap of floodlighting. The solution isn’t to stop discussing traumas or issues that cause sadness, discomfort, anger, or anxiety; rather, it’s about finding a balanced approach to sharing. For example, speaking with a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist can provide a more constructive environment for discussing past or current issues.

Additionally, when people overshare and don’t receive the support they expect, they might feel like there’s something wrong with the other person or that there’s something deeply flawed within themselves that explains the rejection. In reality, the truth often lies somewhere in the middle. Perhaps the new connection is overwhelmed with their own life and doesn’t have the capacity to provide the support the oversharer needs.

It is crucial for those engaging in this behavior not to judge themselves too harshly. If possible, seeking professional guidance can help individuals lead healthier lives, allowing them to process their past or current traumas without inadvertently straining their relationships with new potential friends.

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