Robert Waldinger, happiness expert: “In uncertain times, don’t say ‘everything will be fine,’ say ‘we’ll see’”

Few people understand the curve of a smile like Robert Waldinger. The Harvard Psychiatry professor, author, and researcher, who also directs the Psychodynamic Therapy and Research Center at Massachusetts General Hospital, is a leading authority on the study of happiness.

Like many geniuses, especially in fields as intangible as this, Waldinger avoids traditional methods of explanation. To illustrate one of the core principles of a fulfilled life, he turns to an ancient Chinese parable.

The Parable of Master Zhaozhou

Waldinger recently shared a story from the early ninth century in China, recounting a conversation between Master Zhaozhou and his student. “In the eighth century, China was thriving in the arts, sciences, and philosophy. It was a golden age, but everything changed suddenly. The An Lushan Rebellion triggered a decade of civil war, famine, and disease so devastating that two out of every three people in China died during that period,” Waldinger explains. He describes it as “a time of horror and total collapse,” shortly before the meeting between Zhaozhou and his pupil.

The student asked a question that remains strikingly relevant today. “When we face times of great difficulty, how should we receive them?” he asked. Zhaozhou’s answer was simple: say “welcome.” Waldinger interprets the lesson for modern audiences: “It means the same today as it did then. The only thing we can do is welcome events as they come. At the deepest level, it’s about recognizing that everything changes. Nothing is permanent. We can either pretend the world doesn’t change, or we can face change head-on and accept it.”

Applying the lesson in daily life

Waldinger emphasizes that we can never be certain how things will unfold. True peace comes from accepting reality as it is. “What I’m saying is that the opposite is what the ancient Zen masters called ‘illusory certainty,’ when we become too sure about what’s coming,” he explains. By letting go of these false certainties, we can navigate life’s ever-changing waters with courage, knowing that every human must face them.

“We don’t have to figure everything out in advance. We don’t need to know what’s going to happen, or even what we will do as events unfold,” he says, distilling a complex idea into simple terms. With a smile, he adds, “We just need to stay awake and aware. And not give up.”

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