Squirrels turning predator? Scientists warn they’re eating more than just nuts

I knew they couldn’t be trusted. Way too cute, much too friendly, and so forgetful they cause the birth of thousands of new trees every year... it turns out that the squirrels are indeed plotting against us.

It was all too easy to watch them nibbling nuts and darting around our city parks for years, but now they are showing their true selves: hunting live prey. In California’s Briones Regional Park, a wildlife research team documented a behaviour that has revealed the actual nature of these creatures that give so many people a cuteness overload.

Over the summer of 2024, scientists from the University of Wisconsin–Eau Claire — led by Jennifer E. Smith, who has been studying ground squirrels for years — noticed something extraordinary. Across a six-week window, they tracked 74 squirrel–vole interactions. In nearly half of those encounters the squirrels pursued, captured, and devoured the innocent rodents with a vigorous gusto only seen in horror movies like Ratatouille and Over the Hedge.

Scientists reveal “shock” over squirrel surprise

Observers recorded methods like biting at the neck, shaking the prey violently, and even plucking fur before feeding. Ready to run for your life yet?

The answer, according to the scientists who claim this is in fact new behaviour, lies in the sudden explosion of vole numbers. According to reports, vole activity was roughly seven times the average recorded over the previous decade, a surge that created an abundant, protein-rich opportunity for these misaligned menaces.

Despite their usual favourites like acorns and seeds remaining plentiful, they simply couldn’t resist the new opportunities springing up out of the grass.

“This was shocking,” admitted Dr Jennifer E. Smith, an associate professor of biology at University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, who led the study. “We had never seen this behaviour before. Squirrels are one of the most familiar animals to people. We see them right outside our windows; we interact with them regularly. Yet here’s this never-before-encountered-in-science behaviour that sheds light on the fact that there’s so much more to learn about the natural history of the world around us.”

What makes this story even more blood-curdling is that the scientists — who published their Stephen King storyline in the Journal of Ethology — found that this carnivorous revelation wasn’t limited to a particular group: both males and females, young and old, were caught in the act, with the squirrels putting into practice years of advanced military tactics in their pursuit of their prey, including crouching, pouncing, and even fighting over the spoils.

The far-right media is worried about Zohran Mamdani, but I’m telling you, it should focus its full and undivided attention on the imminent call to arms from the bushy tailed brigade of warriors that squirm among us.

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