Therapists explain what happens if a patient falls for a mental health pro like in ‘Nobody Wants This’

It’s the plot for countless films, books, and daydreams, but is it really bad to fall in love with your therapist?

Telling someone all about your life undoubtedly brings you closer to them, and opening up to a therapist is about as revealing as a person can get outside of their iron circle of friends and family. As such, feelings could potentially begin to creep in as the person opposite you relates to you and tries to understand your worries.

“Transference describes how a client unconsciously redirects feelings from earlier relationships towards the therapist, including affection, admiration, anger, or erotic desire,” says Jordan Dixon, a London-based psychosexual and relationship therapist at Thrive Alive Therapy, tells Cosmopolitan.

Looking at it logically, one can see the pathway. Therapy creates an unusual dynamic: you’re meeting somebody regularly in a safe space in which you can reveal your deepest thoughts, but you’re also vulnerable and there’s a clear professional boundary.

Catching feelings for therapists “normal and expected”

So then, when these feelings emerge, something that Dixon labels as “normal and expected”, how do therapists handle the situation?

“Don’t panic and don’t suppress it,” she says. “Acknowledge it internally, bring it to your supervisor, and explore what it reveals about the client’s experience.”

“The framework I have learned emphasises courage, self-awareness, and supervision as essential safeguards. It takes courage for therapists to bring these issues to supervision and courage for supervisors to meet them with clinical curiosity. When handled well, this reflection protects both therapist and client.”

“A skilled therapist will explore what the feelings represent symbolically, rather than rejecting or personalising them. The focus becomes: What does this longing tell us about how you love, trust, or seek connection?”

In this case, therapy can still continue, but only if it’s managed with integrity, transparency and professional oversight. “In most cases, therapy can and should continue, provided it is managed ethically,” says Dixon. “However, the goal isn’t necessarily to ‘get rid of’ the feelings; the task is to understand their meaning. They may evolve from infatuation into appreciation, or from longing into self-understanding.”

Following the film plot and seeking to ethically move forward with the feelings is something that is, according to Dixon, never the correct option: “The ethical task is to process the fantasy, not act upon it. The therapeutic frame is what makes exploration safe,” she says, explaining that “Boundary violations erode trust and can re-traumatise those with histories of neglect or abuse."

“The confusion and shame that follow often require long-term therapeutic support. These are not ‘affairs,’ they are abuses of professional power. The ethical message is clear: The same power that heals can, if misused, cause deep harm.”

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