Spain to host World Cup 2030: Why will games be played in Argentina, Paraguay and Uruguay?

Spain, Portugal, Morocco, Argentina, Uruguay and Paraguay have all been announced as hosts for the 2030 World Cup, sparking the world of football to cry out one word in unison all across the globe: why?

It’s a good thing that Gianni Infantino is not friends with the ex-English Football League chief and current Wrexham AFC advisor, Shaun Harvey. Back in 2019, it was revealed that the executive had scrapped plans to host the draw for the Carabao Cup - England’s third domestic competition - from space. Eventually held in Beijing, as one does for a UK domestic trophy won by nobody but Manchester City for the last 100 years, the International Space Station was indeed put forward as a potential host, erm, city for the draw.

If Gianni Infantino, when coincidentally sat next to Shaun Harvey in a doctor’s waiting room and, while examining the fact that the two have the same hairstyle, realises who Harvey is, we could be in for a surprise. Infantino seems to have already maniacally smashing the big red button that says ‘DO IT’ on his desk, but he’s moved on from using his fingers and elbows and is now whacking it with a sledgehammer, Triple H style, to see what ideas crackle and fizz out of the neuronic connections firing off in his mind.

This time, the marvellous idea of hosting the World Cup across six nations, two continents, two different hemispheres, 8 time zones, both above the Tropic of Cancer and below the Tropic of Capricorn, has popped into his mind. No, dear reader, I don’t understand it either.

Why will games be played in Argentina, Paraguay and Uruguay?

The reason given by Infantino is that the Centenary of the World Cup is coming up in 2030, and the first-ever edition of the tournament was indeed held in and won by the South American country of Uruguay. And so, instead of proposing a nod to the date with a special ball, logo, opening ceremony, mascot, or performative dance by Gianni himself, the FIFA boss has decided to split the host nations by 9,500km.

Argentina’s selection as a host nation comes as they came as runners-up in that tournament and Paraguay’s as the traditional home of CONMEBOL. Spain, Morocco, Portugal, Uruguay, Argentina and Paraguay will all qualify automatically for the tournament. The other 42 teams will have to do so via the normal routes of regional qualification.

“In a divided world, FIFA and football are uniting”, said Infantino on the decision. Please, nobody tell him if we find little green men on Mars.