Real Madrid-Borussia Dortmund: Second ain't no good to me

Real Madrid-Deportivo La Coruña

As soon as the final whistle went on Wednesday, a host of Real Madrid-supporting pals were quick to remind me that Los Blancos' 2-2 stalemate with Borussia Dortmund means they're likely to get a kinder last-16 draw on Monday.

At Real Madrid, first is first and second is nowhere

Well I'm sorry, chaps, but that isn't even the slightest source of consolation to me. When it comes to Real, only one thing will ever do: first place. I don't care if it's Champions League Group F or the queue at the bus stop.

Accepting second as a good thing is akin to the lot of all those sprinters who take it as a given before they race that they'll be battling it out for silver behind Usain Bolt. And here's the thing: Real Madrid must always be Bolt.

That's why Dortmund's late equaliser really irks me. What's more, they'd already done the same in the teams' first group-stage meeting. Real ahead with time running out, a defensive lapse and two points dropped.

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang celebrates his goal against Real Madrid as Borussia Dortmund came back from two goals down to snatch a draw at the Bernabéu.

On this occasion it was Marcelo who was to blame - a guy who's a joy to watch going forward but, as far as defensive duties go, doesn't find life quite so easy.

Aubameyang serves up Eto'o-esque Bernabéu audition

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang's display reminded me of Samuel Eto'o's memorable performance for Real Mallorca in 2003, when Los Bermellones turned Real over at the Bernabéu. That day, it was as if Eto'o were saying: "Give me a shot at Madrid - I want to score my goals here."

Los Merengues didn't give him that shot, and we all know what he went on to achieve at Barcelona. Now, Aubameyang has offered up an audition for a club he's made no secret he'd like to play for.

He's presented his credentials on the field (19 in 19 this term) and off it (his mother, like Cristiano Ronaldo's back in the day, wants her son to fulfil the wish of his late grandfather by joining Madrid).

At 2-0 up, Real fell asleep and 'Auba' - who's set to team up with former Bernabéu favourite José Antonio Camacho with Gabon - made them pay.