The craziest football club shop items
St Pauli snow shovel
Kick-off is in an hour, but it’s been snowing all morning in Hamburg and the driveway has several feet of snow on it. Never fear, St Pauli fans will have their car out in a jiffy with this handy snow shovel.
Bayern Munich sofa cover
Turn your sofa into the Bayern Munich bench with this cover. We don’t really speak German, but it looks like the cheeky wags at Bayern have changed water boy to ‘bierholer’ or ‘beer fetcher’… For just under €20 we’re big fans of this, including the tag line “You’ll never sit alone”. The website claim though that this cover will allow you to “get the stadium atmosphere in your living room” may be a bridge too far.
Grampus 8 curry
What really shows devotion to your team? Cooking the club’s own brand curry, that’s what. And it’s such a popular sign of devotion, Grampus 8 are currently sold out of the 540 yen packs (€4.20)
AC Milan wellies
For jumping in match day muddy puddles.
Boca Juniors punching bag set
Just been beaten by River Plate? Take your frustration out on your Boca Juniors punch bag…
Celtic tissues
Can’t see any Rangers fans sending these to their Celtic mates after an Old Firm thumping…
Charlton Athletic tape measure
'Addicks', tape measure... make your own joke.
Rangers rubber duck
Looking for a wee friend to follow, follow you around the bath tub. Look no further than the Great Crested Rangers Rubber Duck.
Eintracht Frankfurt Singing Rubber Duck
The real home of club rubber ducks though is Germany, almost every club shop there sports one. But how many have a SINGING DUCK IN ITS OWN BATH. Eintracht Frankfurt fans, eat your heart out.
Flamengo cocktail shaker
Even if the team are failing to shake it up on the pitch, Flamengo fans can liven things up in their home bar.
Real Madrid belly slide gnome
The team gnome is a popular genre within the more wacky club shop items and Real Madrid have a cracking football take on it. (Note for those looking for Barcelona items, the Catalan giants have outsourced their online store to Nike, so there’s no madcap i
Heart of Midlothian nail file
For just £2.50, loyal Jambos fans can keep their hands trim with this little beauty item. Though their nails will likely be short enough anyway with them nervously nibblling away as their side’s lead at the top of the Scottish premiership erodes.
Inter Milan paper clips
When is the BEST TIME to show your club loyalties? When getting all your papers neatly tidied away of course. €7 for 20, or just 35 euro cents a clip.
Juventus anti-stress zebra
Imagine Cristiano Ronaldo has missed three sitters in a Champions League quarter-final against his former side... In that situation Juventus fans would be glad they’ve got their Juventus anti-stress zebra to hand to massage away the terror of missing out
Erzgebirge Aue driller
What to pop in that annoying space on the mantel shelf, Erzgebirge fans? Here’s the perfect answer! They may be from the small town of Aue, with just 18,000 people, but what a fine club shop they've got, particularly if you're into little statuettes. Our
PSG pizza cutter
While Mbappé, Neymar and Cavani are slicing through defences, hungry PSG fans can be slicing through their pizza with this little item. It’s a number 10 pizza cutter, but alas doesn’t have Neymar’s features. They could of course make one with a photo on t
Portland Timbers Jenga
About as appropriate a game for any club as you can imagine, If a little random. Timber!!
Feyenoord ice scraper
As versatile as Dirk Kuyt, this ice scraper does a host of different things. You can play it almost anywhere on a cold day on your car. And all for just €4.99. Unlike Kuyt whose biggest transfer fee was his 16.2 million pound move from the Dutch club to L
St Pauli toaster
So cool you won’t want to put jam and butter on your toast. And it’s reduced right now. From €39.95 to €19.95.
Köln cupcake
”Cupcake? Here’s some I baked earlier. Oh yes, I AM a massive fan of FC Köln, how ever did you guess?”