America’s new weapon: A fresh razor and a bottle of aftershave: Pete Hegseth declares war on facial hair
The Secretary of War wants to regulate how certain people groom their facial hair.
It was not enough, it seems, for Donald Trump to go after the First, Fourth, Fifth, and Fourteenth Amendments of the United States Constitution, while possibly undermining the Twenty-Second Amendment — now Pete Hegseth wants to go after your moustache.
I’ll be honest, I’m not sure under which amendment the act of brushing your facial hair appears in the book that upholds the law, but the Secretary of Def— sorry, War, wants to make sure servicemen are clean shaven.
A new set of grooming standards were unveiled in the Pentagon on Monday, with Hegseth saying “the grooming standard set by the U.S. military is to be clean shaven and neat in presentation for a proper military appearance.
We are also seeing the army told how to present themselves. Of course it’s the army, their job is to take orders from their commanders and they’ll be on the side of the government when deployed onto the streets, as Trump has threatened with AI-generated images of himself presiding over a war-torn Chicago. The soldiers will all be made in God’s image, doing the bidding of the King of the United States. Clean shaven versus bearded barbarians.
Added to the end of the statement sit a few sentences of what appear, on first glance, to be gubbins regarding waivers for growing a beard, but really this is a scary reflection of just how authoritarian the management of things is getting in the White House.
In fact, if you dig a little deeper, it’s not just strict regulations, it’s arguably an attempt to make the army white. The American Osteopathic College of Dermatology estimates that up to 60% of Black men are affected by a condition called pseudofolliculitis barbae, or PFB, a condition in which hairs curl back into the skin after shaving. For this condition, a military shaving waiver is normally given.
However, according to the new standards, “Unit commanders will initiate separation of Service members who require a shaving waiver after more than one year of medical treatment," meaning that after a year, those whose condition has not improved will be separated from the military. Draw your own conclusions.
Related stories
The award that eluded Robert Redford
This lucky penny is worth over $100,000
North Korea has 28 state-approved haircuts for its citizens. Are we really that far away anymore? Maybe Pete Hegseth is just self-conscious that he can’t grow a beard himself.
Get your game on! Whether you’re into NFL touchdowns, NBA buzzer-beaters, world-class soccer goals, or MLB home runs, our app has it all. Dive into live coverage, expert insights, breaking news, exclusive videos, and more – plus, stay updated on the latest in current affairs and entertainment. Download now for all-access coverage, right at your fingertips – anytime, anywhere.
Complete your personal details to comment