The surprisingly easy hack you should use when talking to someone on a date to create a connection according to neuroscientists

The human mind is a powerful tool which shapes our reality. Neuroscientists have studied how the mind works both consciously and subconsciously, computing information from our senses to make decisions about the world around us.

Much of that involves our interactions with others - and the powers of the mind come heavily into play when it comes to forming relationships. There are subtle tricks that we employ sometimes without even realizing it when trying to connect with a member of the opposite sex.

According to Dr Tara Swart Bieber, senior Lecturer at MIT Sloan in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and author of best-seller The Source, there is one particular tool that she believes is a great technique to use when dating someone or during the early stages of a blossoming relationship.

Dr Swart was a guest on Steven Bartlett’s Diary of a CEO podcast in which she spoke about about neuroaesthetics, stress, hormones and the power of the mind.

Look into a person’s left eye if you want to bond with them

She revealed a simple trick that is perfect to use on a first date - looking directly into the other person’s left eye when talking to them. Dr Swart explained that looking at someone’s left eye plays a vital role in bonding and creating emotional connections rooted in infancy.

Dr Swart says in the first few weeks after a baby is born, it starts to understand and learn emotions through eye contact with their mother. She adds that because most people are right-handed, they tend to hold their children with their left hand to keep their dominant hand free. So mothers end up using their eight eye to gaze into their child’s left eye. At least that’s the theory.

Those interactions impact the amygdala, the part of your brain that is responsible for processing emotions, creating “an emotional resonance loop”.

“Most people are right handed so they’ll be holding their baby in their left arm so they can use their dominant hand to do stuff. So when you gaze at your baby, your right eye is looking at their left eye and then as that interaction from the optic nerve is going around the brain it’s impacting the amygdala where emotions come from, and it’s creating this emotional resonance loop that’s part of how the mother and baby bond so that right eye to left eye contact is the most bonding eye contact you can have with someone. If I’m trying to build a bond with someone that’s the statistically most likely one to create good resonance between you.”

In response, Bartlett asked if Dr Swart had been looking at his left eye during their chat. She replied that she had waited for them to sit down before starting the process, adding that hugs and jokes shared beforehand helped lower the host’s guard and work towards bonding.

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