Conan O’Brien didn’t hold back on Dartmouth College president and students at 2011 commencement speech

As another school year comes to a close, an annual tradition is taking place across the nation, graduation ceremonies. One permanent feature of these are commencement addresses by famous individuals imparting words of wisdom to those who have dedicated time, energy, and a fair amount of money to successfully completing their degree.

Some of the speakers can be real flops, giving cringeworthy speeches. However, every now and then an audience is treated to a commencement address that lives on in posterity. Fine examples of this are Steve Jobs at Stanford in 2005 or Admiral McRaven at Austin UT in 2014. Another one was comedian Conan O’Brien at Dartmouth College in 2011.

Conan O’Brien dished out a healthy dose of humor to Dartmouth grads

The late-night comedian gave what could be considered a model commencement speech, centering it on the audience and loaded with plenty of humor. He didn’t spare anyone, poking fun at himself, other Ivy League schools, as well as making light of Dartmouth and its president before giving the typically words of wisdom.

O’Brien quipped that he had been chosen to give the commencement address over former President George HW Bush, who happened to be seated on stage as well. “I pray I never witness a more damning example of what is wrong with America today,” he joked.

He also told the graduates that life isn’t fair. As an example, he said he was getting a diploma from the Ivy League school just for speaking to them while they worked four years to get theirs.

He poked fun at the institution’s President Jim Yong Kim, rattling off his numerous accomplishments and then ending with “Good God, man, what the hell are you compensating for? Seriously. We get it. You’re smart.”

O’Brien assured the audience that he had done his homework in the run-up to addressing the Dartmouth Class of 2011. He peppered his speech with numerous details about the school, mocking its motto, school color and the fact that they use a giant tree trunk as a podium.

“It looks like you stole it from the set of Survivor: Nova Scotia,” he joked. “Seriously, it looks like something a bear would use at an AA meeting.”

While he made sure to keep the audience laughing throughout, he did give them a serious message based on his own experience at the time. 17 months prior he had been ousted from ‘The Tonight Show’, being the host had been his ultimate dream and O’Brien shared that he had thought doing so would define him as successful.

“It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique,” he told the graduates. “It’s not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.”

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