Vanessa Jensen, psychologist, “Snowplow parents don’t want their children to have to truck through the snow and the muck”

Generation X is considered by many to have been one of the least parented cohorts of children often referred to as ‘latchkey kids’. This was in part due to higher divorces rates among their parents and an increased number of families where both parents worked. What some might call neglect resulted in them having exceptional mental strength according to psychologists.

While they and subsequent generations tend to have more stable marriages and are less likely to get divorced, many have taken a different approach to parenting. While some are ardent supporters of the ‘free-range’ method, others are trying to make sure that they are involved in their children’s lives as much as possible.

Beyond just trying to be there for their children, they are getting over-involve in every aspect of their kids’ lives. This has given rise to the concept of helicopter parenting and snowplow parenting, also known as bulldozer or lawnmower parenting.

This latter approach, as the name suggests, tries to remove all obstacles from their child’s path to ensure that they can attain success. However, experts caution that this parenting method may do more harm than good.

Ensuring kids’ smooth path to success may result in bumpy future

Cleveland Clinic says that “snowplow parents set themselves apart from other parenting styles by being overly involved in their child’s decisions and fighting their battles for them.”

“Snowplow parents don’t want their children to have to truck through the snow and the muck,” explains Dr. Vanessa Jensen, a pediatric psychologist. “So they’re going to get all the dangers, all of the hurdles and all of the things that might be harmful out of the way,”

Common things snowplow parents will do to smooth the path forward for their kid include shielding them from all complex challenges and potential failures. When their child has to deal with interpersonal conflicts, among their peers in particular, they will step in to handle it.

They are micromanagers of their kid’s time and commitments as well as behaviors and decisions. Additionally, snowplow parents will complete challenges, tasks or work that their child should be doing.

These actions can have consequences for those children in the here and now as well as down the road in life. The idea of making a mistake or not succeeding can cause fear and anxiety. In the face of difficulties, they may lack resilience and self-esteem. They may develop unrealistic expectations and feel a sense of entitlement that they should always win.

Children of snowplow parenting, when dealing with conflict, may lack the tools and mechanism to cope in a healthy way. Experts warn that they have a higher risk of entering into codependent relationships. Not to mention that it can be harmful to the parent-child relationship.

Dr. Jensen cautions that parents, by doing too much for kids, lead them to expect that they can do everything at the same level as their parents. “In reality, it’s important that they do the work and learn from their experiences because it’s not going to ever be perfect,” she explains.

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