Who could sign Neymar if he leaves PSG on loan?

The transfer window looms like a stormy cloud on the horizon, creeping closer with every cold gust of wind that batters your face. That smell is in the air of moisture and lightning, mixed together with the anxiety and nerves that always seem to come around too. We’re all about to get swept up into the transfer window storm when the window officially opens on July 1st, but for now we are more than ready to contend with the preamble and rumours.

Jude Bellingham has reportedly entered the final stages of his negotiations with Real Madrid, Leo Messi may or may not move to FC Barcelona and now it seems that the biggest bargain hunt Euro all-items-one-euro clearout sale is happening in Paris. Neymar is the latest player to be linked to a move away from the french capital that once again finds itself in turmoil, with reports suggesting that PSG are willing to see him leave on loan; his contract, which runs until 2027, is now not an obstacle that will keep him at the club.

But where could he go? We took a look at some possible destinations for Ney...

Newcastle United

Neymar, even with his Champions Leagues and domestic titles, World Cup experience and millionaire, generational talent status in sport, might have a tough time usurping the miraculous resurgence of Jacob Murphy in the Newcastle midfield. Anyway, despite this, the money Newcastle might be able to offer the player surely makes England’s north-east a potential destination for the Brazilian. The Geordies might not have Coppacabana beach, but try find me a Greggs in Rio de Janeiro.

Manchester United

Manchester United became a normal football team ever since they got rid of Cristiano Ronaldo after that surreal interview with Piers Morgan, but it’s about time they had another winger who can’t defend. Neymar at Manchester United might have Joel Glazer suspending all sales to potential buyers, just so he can see the fan sentiment graphs shoot through the roof once again.

Chelsea

No, listen, we only want to send him on loan, yo- you don’t have to pay anything, Todd. Seriously... we just want rid of the player for 6 months. Why are you sending me $400 million? No, I don’t want Enzo Fernández, Todd. Seriously, just listen, put your wallet away. Why is Frank Lampard holding your jacket? Stop throwing pound coins at me. It’s just a 6 month deal. I don’t want any money.

Bayern Munich

Mané and Sané don’t get on, so a hole could be made there for Ney to slip into. I’m sure that Tommy Tuchel’s big book of tactics is on Neymar’s coffee table at home anyway, page corners folded and raggedy post-it-notes sticking out of the edges. What could possibly go wrong at Bayern if they spend all their money on a definitely-not-Robert-Lewandowski replacement again?

Real Madrid

Of course, I’m joking... but it would be desperately funny. Florentino is/was a known admirer of the Brazilian winger, and reporetedly tried before Barça did to sign him from Santos. He won’t leave for the uber-balanced and sensible squad that Madrid have, but it would be nice just to see what animal the Camp Nou fans would throw at him on his return in the shirt of Los Blancos.