ST PATRICK'S DAY

St Patrick's Day Dream Team

As our main stopper we've picked Paddy Kenny (Jennings pushed him all the way!). who played for Neil Warnock at Bury, Sheffield United, QPR and Leeds. They must have a special bond as earlier this year the same manager signed him for his new gig at Rotherham. We can maybe use this story again next February 14.

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Juventus and French defender Patrice Evra takes up our left full-back role but we expect him to be getting up and down that flank like a rabid leprechaun.

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Patrick Andersson, most notably of Bayern Munich and Barcelona, gets into our side in central defence. The Swedish rock would never get "Bjárred" from a drinking establishment on a day like today.

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American Patrick Ianni is added to our defence after putting in solif performances for the Seattle Sounders and other side in MLS. America seems to have dominated much of the green parades we see on this day so how could we not include him?

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Another Patrick product from the Ajax youth academy, Zwaanswijk is currently plying his trade in the Australian leagues. Not content at winning every game of "Surname Scrabble", he jumped at the chance to join our team as a 6ft plus central defender.

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Dimunitive Pat Nevin used to strut his stuff for Chelsea, Everton and Scotland. Did you know that he was with Celtic FC as a youngster but they told him to do one on account of his small stature. His skill and pace gets him into our midfield.

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Patrik Berger is remembered fondly by Liverpool fans in particular for a long pass assist to Michael Owen to "steal" the 2001 FA Cup from the hands of Arsenal. He'll be treated to a pint of Guinness anytime he's near Anfield and he is awarded a central midfield berth in our starting 11.

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Patrick Viera had an incredible fruitful career in central midfield picking up league titles at Arsenal, Inter and Juventus as well as the Euros and World Cup with France. Let's see the other patron saints beat that!

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Chelsea striker Patrick Bamford is currently on loan at Norwich City. He may not be the most popular person in Irish bars after switching allegiances from the Republic's youth team to turn-out for England at U18, U19 and U21. Ah well, you've got to be sure to be sure.

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Patrice Loko played for 7 (seven) different French clubs across his career and won the league (Nantes) and Cup Winners Cup (PSG) during that time. He told us he preferred a nice Chateau Haut Brio to a pint of the black stuff but we told him that our half-time refreshment rules were non-negotiable.

Photo: JEAN-PAUL PELISSIER REUTERS

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Joining our potent attack goes Patrick Kluivert who has played at the top level of the professional game. From Ajax to Milan then Barcelona (and some others!) he can now say his career is complete by making the St Paddy's XI.

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So to our manager. Who can lead this band of soon to be very merry Patricks? And our choice is Patrick, Paddy, Patricio O'Connell. As the first ever Manchester United player from the ROI he went on to manage in Spain. In 1935 he led Real Betis to their first La Liga title and during the Spanish Civil War he took FC Barcelona on a tour of North America. Despite these successes, he died destitute in London in 1959. He's the man for us!

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Born in Belfast, Pat Rice, Arsenal's assistant manager for a 16 year stint makes it into our group but rather than in defence - where he spent much of his playing career - we need him in a supportive role for our manager as he did for Arsene Wenger.

Photo: IAN KINGTON AFP

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