Alberto Aguelo, communications expert: “Stop saying ‘it’s nothing’, say this instead”

In everyday life, when someone arrives late to a meeting, makes a mistake at work or apologizes for some oversight, many people instinctively respond the same way: “it’s nothing.” However, according to communication expert Alberto Aguelo, this habitual phrase may actually be sending the wrong message about our personal boundaries.

What’s wrong with saying ‘it’s nothing’?

In a TikTok video that has gone viral, Aguelo invites viewers to reflect on the words we choose when communicating and how they shape the way others perceive us.

For Aguelo, the constant use of “it’s nothing” is a way of hiding what we truly feel. When someone negatively affects us and we brush it off with that phrase, we minimize not only what happened but also ourselves. It may seem like an easy way to avoid conflict, but over time it can lead others to stop respecting our limits or our efforts because, after all, “nothing ever happens.”

The expert argues that this does not mean becoming aggressive or starting arguments. Instead, he believes honesty is essential. Repeating the phrase automatically prevents people from establishing clear boundaries.

What to say instead of “it’s nothing”

So what should we say when someone apologizes to us? Alberto Aguelo suggests several alternatives depending on the context and what we genuinely want to communicate. The key, he says, is replacing indifference with acknowledgment.

One option is to respond with appreciation: “Understood, thanks for letting me know.” This validates the other person’s gesture without pretending the mistake was unimportant. It recognizes that something went wrong while also appreciating that the person acknowledged it.

Another useful response, particularly in professional settings, is: “I appreciate you bringing this up. Let’s make sure we define how and when this will be handled so it doesn’t happen again.”

Rather than simply accepting the apology, this approach also makes it clear that the situation should not be repeated.

The shift may sound minor, even insignificant, but Aguelo believes the impact on self-esteem and on the image we project can be considerable. According to the communication expert, people who can express their needs without fearing conflict are often perceived as leaders and trusted figures by those around them.

His advice is not about becoming authoritarian. Instead, it is about stopping the habit of apologizing for existing or normalizing other people’s mistakes at the expense of our own peace of mind.

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