Cecilia Martín, psychologist: “Ghosting is a grief that leaves you without a goodbye”

The expert, known for her work on the TV show Married at First Sight, explained in an interview with AS that the emotional impact of ghosting goes far beyond simple rejection. “Ghosting is a form of grief that leaves you without a goodbye and, worst of all, without answers,” she said.

Martín, who recently published Ghosting, Jealousy, Breakups and Other Modern Dramas (Vergara, 2026), argues that the pain stems from the uncertainty itself. “Our emotional brain is designed to seek meaning, closure and coherence in relationships,” she explained. When that closure never arrives, the story remains unfinished, making it much harder to process emotionally.

That unresolved silence creates a psychological loop that can become difficult to escape. Martín says the brain stays alert, waiting for a message or call that may never come. Without a clear ending, hope and expectation remain active, stretching out the grieving process.

Why ghosting can hurt more than rejection

According to the psychologist, ghosting can even feel more painful than a direct breakup. “It’s better to hear ‘it’s over’ than to be left waiting for a response that never comes,” she said. Silence is never interpreted as neutral. Instead, people tend to fill the void with assumptions, doubts and self-criticism.

That mental spiral is one of the most damaging effects. “The mind fills in the gaps... often with questions like ‘What did I do wrong?’ or ‘Why wasn’t I enough?’” Martín explained, even when people rationally understand that someone else’s behavior does not determine their worth.

Ghosting also activates attachment fears. “It triggers fear of abandonment,” she said, which is why the emotional blow can feel intense even after a short relationship. What hurts is not only the loss of the person, but also everything that had been imagined or projected onto the relationship.

Accepting the lack of answers

For Martín, the first step toward recovery is not trying to understand why it happened, but learning to accept that there may never be an explanation. “Learning not to search for answers and accepting that you may never know the reasons” is essential to moving forward, she said.

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