Amy McCready, parenting coach on power struggles with kids, “Stop saying ‘don’t.’ Tell them what to do instead”

Children come into this world as blank slates with endless potential, boundless curiosity, and a penchant for mischievousness. Parents are tasked with molding them into good members of society but that can seem like a constant uphill battle.

Amy McCready, a parenting coach and mother of three, quipped that her son received more training for his job at a fast food restaurant than she ever did for raising her kids. While she had experience managing large groups of people for a Fortune 500 company, she found herself out of her depth when she was trying to raise two toddlers.

The self-described “recovering yeller” decided to take a different approach to her parenting style, studying positive discipline strategies and developing her own All-In-One Parenting Success System. Over the years she has helped thousands of parents to avoid power struggles with their kids with her method of empowering children, guiding them on what they should do versus telling them not to do something.

An easy language shift to make parenting easier

McCready advises parents to break the cycle of nagging, reminding and then eventually yelling, because while you might feel that if you yell you’ll finally be heard and you got what was frustrating you off your chest, studies show that it leaves parents feeling guilty in the end. Her strategy is pretty straightforward: “Stop saying ‘don’t.’ Tell them what to do instead.”

“When we shift to clear “do” language, everything becomes simpler. Kids know exactly what’s expected, which makes it easier for them to follow through,” she wrote in a post on her Positive Parenting Strategies Instagram page. “Instead of correcting, you’re guiding. And that shift reduces frustration for everyone.”

She is also an advocate for giving children more power, letting them make decisions for themselves. While some parents may be worried that by sharing the power with their children could mean them losing authority, McCready says the opposite happens.

“We are all hardwired with the need for power or autonomy,” no matter what the age, from infants to senior citizens, she pointed out during an interview with PBS. For children though, they don’t feel like they have much power because the majority of the time they don’t get to call the shots, whether it’s the clothes they have to wear, what they have to eat, or where they have to go at any given time.

“Giving the child more opportunities to make decisions, to have some control over his own life, age appropriately of course, that fills up that hardwired need for power and then they’re less likely to fight us for power,” the parenting coach explained.

She says she likes to tell parents that there is a couple simple equation for her, decisions equal power and that giving clear directions equals more cooperation.

Get closer to the game! Whether you like your soccer of the European variety or that on this side of the pond, our AS USA app has it all. Dive into live coverage, expert insights, breaking news, exclusive videos, and more. Plus, stay updated on NFL, NBA and all other big sports stories as well as the latest in current affairs and entertainment. Download now for all-access coverage, right at your fingertips – anytime, anywhere.

And there’s more: check out our TikTok and Instagram reels for bite-sized visual takes on all the biggest soccer news and insights.