Goodbye to the marital bed: ‘sleep divorce’, a growing trend among couples

Is sharing a bed with your partner overrated? That’s the question making its way around offices, dinner tables and late-night texts. It starts with a joking, “Sure, I’d love to sleep next to them… if they didn’t snore,” and escalates quickly to “Honestly? The best part of hotels is the king-sized bed – and not sharing it.”

For many couples, especially those juggling work shifts, sleep disorders or simply different bedtime routines, bedroom harmony can be elusive. And while these compromises may seem small, they can add up – and some experts warn that chronic sleep tension could be a precursor to the so-called ‘gray divorce’ trend: a growing number of long-term relationships dissolving later in life. When rest is scarce and stress is high, is sleeping apart the key to staying together?

Why sharing a bed doesn’t always work

There’s a long list of culprits when it comes to disrupted sleep: one person reads with the light on while the other is trying to fall asleep. One runs hot, the other piles on the blankets. Someone tosses, someone turns. And then, of course, there are the snorers, the night owls, the early risers, and those who insist on setting an alarm every five minutes from 6:00 a.m. onward.

The question for many couples isn’t whether they love one another, but whether they can rest next to one another without sacrificing their health. And increasingly, the answer is: not always.

But separating bedrooms – or even just beds – doesn’t have to mean sleeping apart every night. For some couples, spending a few nights a week in separate rooms, or sleeping solo when one person has a late night, is enough to protect both rest and the relationship.

What is ‘sleep divorce’?

The concept of a “sleep divorce” – a term borrowed from the English phrase – refers to the growing practice of couples choosing to sleep in separate beds or rooms for the sake of their sleep quality.

It might sound dramatic, but its impact can be quietly revolutionary. By eliminating sleep disruptions caused by snoring, insomnia, clashing schedules or light sensitivity, couples often report less irritability, lower stress and better overall communication.

When did ‘sleep divorce’ begin?

It’s not new, either. From ancient Rome through the Middle Ages, the Renaissance, and even post-war Europe, couples have made practical sleeping arrangements based on home layouts, cultural norms, or personal preference. But in today’s world – where we increasingly understand the crucial role sleep plays in mental and physical health – the practice is being reclaimed as a proactive, not punitive, choice.

Sleep deprivation is linked to serious health risks, from metabolic disorders and high blood pressure to weakened immunity. When the stakes are that high, sharing a bed every night suddenly doesn’t seem like the ultimate expression of intimacy – getting rest might be.

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