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I left Oregon heading to this beautiful country and it has been amazing: “Life is slower and more flexible”

The co-founder of a community for moms moving abroad has shared why she returned to the country with her husband and kids to where she was an au pair.

Beto V. Álvarez
She packed up the kids and moved to a country where “life is slower and more flexible”

When Emily San José first came to Spain as an au pair, she never imagined the experience would completely transform her perspective on family and life. Hailing from Oregon, Emily fell in love with Spain’s close-knit family traditions and the simplicity of everyday life.

Years later, she’s back in Spain, raising her family and celebrating the culture that changed everything for her. She recently sat down for a conversation with Business Insider to share why she chose to move her family to Spain and her experiences since.

The beauty of the “extended family integration in Spanish culture”

In Spain, family isn’t just immediate—it’s an expansive network. Grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles all come together regularly, finding joy in even the simplest of gatherings. Whether it’s a shared meal or a casual weekend activity, family time is woven into the fabric of life.

While she says that her mother “is very involved with her grandkids,” in Spain, “there’s just another level of extended family integration in Spanish culture.” She explains that it is normal for example that “the kids' aunts and uncles to pop in on a school night just to say hi.”

Now living just outside Madrid with her Spanish husband, two children (ages 3 and 7), and a 16-year-old stepson, Emily makes it a priority to join her in-laws for Sunday lunch every week. “It’s not formal or fancy,” she explains. “But it’s a chance to spend hours together each week. It’s a standing date, and we make it a priority.”

Embracing Spain’s relaxed rhythm

But it is not only a question of family relationships, but also of rhythm. Since her arrival in Spain, Emily has been making the most of her days. While at first it was difficult for her to adapt to the slow pace of Spanish life, she admits that the longer hours have allowed her to build a new perspective on life.

While Emily’s days in her adopted country are longer than in the US, “that’s not necessarily a bad thing,” Emily says. “Because everything unfolds at a slower pace.” She explains that the kids’ school starts at 9 am and they get out at 5 pm.

However, if they have after-school activities they are there for another hour. That means that they have dinner typically at 8:30 and the kids are in bed asleep by 9:30. On weekends though it is not uncommon to have dinner out with the kids at 10 pm and they stay out past midnight.

Additionally, because kids are welcome everywhere in Spain including restaurants and museums, it “alleviates a lot of pressure” from her as a mom. “I can spend time with my kids, while also fulfilling my human need for social connection,” she shared.

The productivity mindset: a work in progress

Still, not all of Emily’s American habits have faded. As the co-founder of Mother Euro, a platform for empowering “American mothers transitioning to life in Europe,” Emily admits she maintains a certain drive for productivity. Whether it’s squeezing in a workout during lunch, running errands, or creating social media content, she likes to stay busy.

“The urge to be productive is very American,” she says. “My Spanish friends use that time to relax and sit down for a leisurely meal, followed by coffee.” And she admits that “the flexibility in Spain is challenging,” as she likes to have a plan for outings and social events but in Spain, they “are usually planned impulsively.”

Original article written by Beto V. Álvarez, translated with the assistance of AI and edited by Greg Heilman.

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