Studies reveal that Americans don’t know how many real friends they have: here’s the average number

You probably have a rough idea how many friends you’ve got, right? A few from work, maybe one from childhood, that one you text memes to every day... and possibly the owner of your local bar or café. But are they real friends? And how many would show up if you needed help moving the sofa... or needed a ride to the ER?

As it turns out, Americans aren’t great at answering this question.

Judging your friends... in volume

A 2023 Pew Research Center survey found that 53% of U.S. adults report having between one and four close friends, 38% say they have five or more, and 8% admit to having none at all.

So, why the confusion? Partly because the line between acquaintance and friend has become harder to define. Social media, transient work environments, and geographic mobility have made it easy to stay in touch, but harder to build depth. According to the Survey Center on American Life, the percentage of Americans with no close friends has risen from 3% in 1990 to 12% in 2021.

The study also asked participants how often they see or talk to their closest friends. The answer: not very often. Nearly half of adults said they see their close friends less than once a month. For many, the friendship label sticks even when regular contact doesn’t, reliability when needed clearly a key factor.

Friendships differ for men and women

Another finding was that men and women tend to report friendships differently. Women are more likely to describe their close friends as emotionally supportive. Men, especially older men, often describe their friendships as activity-based... and sometimes struggle to name more than one confidant.

Age also plays a role. Young adults (18–29) report more friendships but feel less emotionally connected to them. Adults over 60 tend to have fewer but deeper relationships.

What counts as a real friend?

So, how many real friends do you have? According to researchers, if someone texts you just to check in - or would drop everything to help you – count them. But if the relationship is one-sided or mostly digital, it probably doesn’t make the cut.

In short, based on the findings, the average number of real friends Americans have lies somewhere between two and three. If you can, and if you want to, I’d suggest you go make more.

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