How you greet someone may seem minor, but psychologists say it can send powerful signals about personality and confidence.
This common gesture when greeting could reveal more about you than you think, according to science
The next time you reach out for a handshake, offer a hug, or throw in a shoulder pat, you might be saying more than just “hello.” That’s according to organizational psychologist Ronald E. Riggio, who says that your preferred greeting could be silently broadcasting your confidence, your personality, and even your social awareness.
Riggio, a professor at Claremont McKenna College, has spent years examining how nonverbal cues – particularly greetings – affect social and professional interactions. His findings, published in Psychology Today, suggest that the way you greet someone doesn’t just make an impression, it helps form the entire foundation of that relationship.
Why your greeting could make or break a first impression
In one of Riggio’s studies, participants were asked to greet strangers while role-playing different scenarios – sometimes they were meeting a close friend, other times just an acquaintance. The actual conversations weren’t recorded, just the greetings.
Observers judged those greetings for their “intimacy,” and the results were clear: people greeted friends more warmly and physically than acquaintances. No surprise there, you may say.
But Riggio found something unexpected: the subject of the conversation (intimate vs casual) made no difference. Whether someone was about to talk about their parents’ divorce or their favorite TV show didn’t affect the way they said hello.
What mattered most was the perceived closeness of the relationship... and who was on the receiving end.
What does my greeting reveal about my personality?
Riggio’s team also collected personality data. The strongest pattern? Extraverts and socially skilled people used more intimate greetings. Those who rated high on “exhibitionism” (people who like attention) also tended to go for more expressive, contact-heavy greetings.
Greeting style wasn’t gendered in the way many assume, but there was a notable difference in how same-sex and mixed-sex pairs interacted. In Riggio’s experiment, mixed-sex pairs hugged more, while same-sex pairs were more likely to shake hands or give a shoulder tap. That aligns with broader social habits, but Riggio points out that physical touch increased significantly when people thought they were greeting a friend – regardless of gender.
So while your handshake might not scream “I’m an introvert,” it does hint at how comfortable you are socially and how open you are to connection. And the good news: his research shows a strong link between social skill and greeting intimacy, which suggests that – unlike personality – you can get better at this. It’s learnable. Watching how others greet, thinking more deliberately about your own behavior, and practicing in different contexts can all help.
Just watch out for all those kisses in Spain!
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