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Barça are out of Europe. Now to put them out of the title race

While Barcelona have reacted to their fully deserved Champions League elimination at the hands of Juventus by engaging in an absurd legal stand-off with the powers that be, my Real Madrid have been enjoying their 6-3 double doing of the Bayern Munich of Neuer, Lewandowski and Co.

Life is sweet for Zidane's Real Madrid...

We're top dogs in Spain and Europe. Life is good under Zinedine Zidane. Cristiano Ronaldo is back scoring in threes, Isco has turned 25 amid plaudit after plaudit, Marco Asensio is starting to emulate the phenomenal Emilio Butragueño.

Real Madrid are smiling under Zinedine Zidane.
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Real Madrid are smiling under Zinedine Zidane.GERARD JULIENAFP

Nacho Fernández has grown immeasurably this season and is the son-in-law every mother would like to have. Marcelo dazzles with comic strip-esque magic, Sergio Ramos is like Mel Gibson in Braveheart, Casemiro is Thor's Hammer. Luka Modric is our Leonardo da Vinci...

We want to leave Barcelona down and out!

Zidane's men could hedge their bets and go for a draw that would as good as sew up the championship. With a three-point lead and that game in hand at Celta Vigo still to play, the finish line would be in sight. But that ain't enough for us.

We want more. We want to roll Barça over. No mercy. We want a comprehensive victory to leave them down and out. Out of Europe. Out of the title race. Hala Madrid!