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What did Amy Winehouse intimate diaries reveal?

In honor of what would have been Amy Winehouse’s 40th birthday, intimate excerpts from her personal notebooks are unveiled

In honor of what would have been Amy Winehouse’s 40th birthday, intimate excerpts from her personal notebooks are unveiled
Getty Images / Andy Paradise/WireImage

September 14 would have marked Amy Winehouse’s 40th birthday.

However, the voice of the British singer was forever silenced on July 23, 2011, when she was found dead in her London apartment at the age of 27.

She died “accidently,” according to a London court verdict. Winehouse had consumed alcohol exceeding five times the UK driving limit. The life of the performer behind hits like “Back to Black,” “Rehab,” and “Valerie” was filled with achievements but also marred by substance abuse and health issues such as bulimia.

She has never been forgotten since. Even over 12 years after her death, the legacy and melodies of Winehouse remain vibrant. Her parents, Mitch and Janis, have chosen to reveal fragments of their daughter’s diaries in The Telegraph to gain deeper insight into her thoughts and emotions. This gesture serves as their way of commemorating what would have been her 40th birthday.

“I am glad to be different. It’s not like I wanted to be like everyone else. I love having my own individual style. I love being loud and talking to people. It’s how I am,” wrote the singer.

Much like any teenage journal, Winehouse’s diaries were also filled with contemplations about love.“Sometimes I wonder if there is someone, some guy out there who is as crazy as me. A nice guy with dark hair, who wears reading glasses and is a true indie guy? Optional piercings, preferably with a Scottish or Irish accent! added the singer describing what would be the profile of her ideal boy. “And why do all of my brother’s friends fit this description, but I’m too young to do anything about it?” she added.

“Sometimes I get physically violent with those I love.” The British artist’s personality was so overpowering that she was aware of it herself. She noted in her intimate writings that she “hate my temper. Sometimes it eats away at me so much that I physically become violent with those I love. No matter how much I say ‘I’m sorry,’ it’s something they’ll never forget.”

The singer’s parents have confessed how difficult it has been for them to delve into their daughter’s texts to share them with her followers due to the emotional weight of the task and the fear of encountering “a lot of torment or misery.”

“We don’t know for sure whether composing became a catharsis for Amy, but it certainly was a creative process she returned to time and time again in her happiest periods, as well as in her darkest moments of addiction,” they say.

“Twelve years after her death, looking back at these drawings and scribbles still makes us smile, just as Amy did. Of course, we can’t whitewash her story. Yes, she was an addict, and yes, her life was chaotic. Ultimately, her addictions stole her life from her and from us. But those aren’t the times we dwell on,” they add.


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