I moved to the US from the UK 20 years ago and now I want to leave. I can’t adapt to this one cultural thing
While living in a foreign country can be a life-building experience, one of the biggest difficulties for many can be adapting to the local culture.
The United States is said to be “the land of opportunity” and that is what one Brit discovered when she settled on the East Coast 20 years ago. However, while Hayley Domin is “thankful for the doors that opened” for her, she says that after two decades she’s “never fully adjusted to American work life and culture.”
“The work culture here, especially on the East Coast where I live, feels borderline unhealthy compared with Europe and the many other countries I’ve traveled to for my career,” she shared in Business Insider. “Work doesn’t consume people in some European countries the way it does in the US.”
The high price paid for a higher salary in the US
Domin says that the higher salary on offer in the US is the only benefit of the unhealthy work-life balance. For example, in her native UK, the median annual salary is roughly $47,000 compared to $65,000 in the US.
However, it is one for which she has had to pay dearly. At times she feels that her work takes precedence over everything else, forcing her to miss out on other opportunities. Also, colleagues don’t respect the idea that work is carried out during the work hours which are from 8:30 to 5:30.
The native-Londoner says she won’t answer emails outside of that time to keep herself “sane,” which has resulted in her receiving text messages in the evenings from colleagues who haven’t heard an immediate response to an email. She says that she tries to be “the work-life-balance cheerleader in the office,” inviting co-workers to enjoy a full-hour lunch break, taking a walk or sitting at a café, but has had little success.
For that reason, Domin feels that she’s never really known her co-workers despite working with them for years. And it’s not just in the workplace where it “feels almost impossible at times to find genuine connections.” Even around Boston, where she lives, “people rarely talk to each other on the streets,” she says.
“In fact, it’s so rare that when people eventually do make conversation, I’m almost caught off guard,” she added.
Thinking about packing up and moving away from the US
Domin appreciates a lot about Americans and her adopted home. The people “make everything feel exciting — their outgoing nature is almost infectious.” Living in the US was like a shot in the arm to her confidence, allowing her to believe that she “could achieve anything.”
However, Domin shared that after every trip abroad, she finds it difficult to return, which is why she is considering moving someplace else. “I yearn for simplicity and true connections,” she explained. “I see so many benefits to moving away to a place with a stronger sense of community.”
In the meantime though, she will keep on being the cheerleader in the hopes of showing those around her at that “there are more important things in life than just work.”
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