Julia Moreno, psychologist: “The pain and suffering that men experience is one of the most silenced aspects of our time”

The mental health of men — and their ability to express emotional distress in public — has long been a topic of debate among psychologists. Julia Moreno, a mental‑health specialist and educator with more than 86,000 Instagram followers, recently posted a video addressing exactly that.

According to Moreno, men’s emotional disconnection doesn’t come from an inability to feel or express emotions. It comes from social conditioning.

“Society taught them that feeling is a sign of weakness, that emotions aren’t allowed for them, that life is a competition you have to win, and that asking for help means losing,” she explains.

To support her point, she cites research and media reports showing that men cry up to three times more than women — yet they’re still the least likely to seek psychological help. She also notes that men experience higher rates of addiction, often using substances as an escape when they don’t know how to release or process their emotions.

“Men’s pain is one of the most silenced realities of our time”

Moreno argues that many men were never taught how to navigate their inner world — what they perceive, notice, or feel.

“There’s always this tendency for men to jump straight into fixing things instead of validating or listening to the emotions that come up in a conversation,” she says.

When emotions are suppressed, she adds, they find other ways out. “An emotion you try to silence or cover up will come out in another form — symptoms, addictions, or anger.”

Anger, she explains, becomes the “default” emotion because it’s socially accepted and directed outward, even though underneath it often lie “more intense and more primary feelings.”

Encouraging men to seek support

Because of all this, Moreno encourages men who relate to these patterns to consider seeking psychological support if they feel they need it.

“When a man allows himself to listen to what he feels, to break down, to cry, he recovers a part of himself that helps him move forward,” she concludes.

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