“What am I doing with my life?”: Darren Waller reveals his breaking point
One year after his NFL retirement, tight end Darren Waller reveals the exact moment he knew it was over for him, and it happened in the middle of a game.


Darren Waller’s NFL story is one of resilience, recovery, and elite performance. But in the middle of his ninth season with the New York Giants, he knew it would be his last. It was in the middle of a game against the Buffalo Bills that the epiphany occurred to him, in fact. He revealed in a recent podcast exactly what led him to make the decision to retire, and when.
The moment Darren Waller decided to walk away from football
Darren Waller was drafted by the Baltimore Ravens in the sixth round of the 2015 NFL Draft as a wide receiver but later transitioned to tight end. His early years were marked by injuries and multiple suspensions for violating the league’s substance-abuse policy, but he overcame those challenges after completing rehab in 2018.
Waller’s career took off after joining the Oakland Raiders (now Las Vegas Raiders), where he became one of the league’s top tight ends. He recorded back-to-back 1,000-yard seasons, earned a Pro Bowl nod in 2020, and signed a $51 million extension in 2022, making him the NFL’s highest-paid tight end at the time. In 2023, he was traded to the New York Giants, but his season was limited due to injury.
What a journey by Darren Waller:
— ESPN (@espn) October 17, 2019
🔹 Suspended entire 2017 season
🔹 Signed to Raiders practice squad in 2018
🔹 Became Hard Knocks fan-favorite
🔹 Leads Raiders in catches, rec yards
🔹 Signs extension through 2023 for $9 million a year, per NFL Network pic.twitter.com/tn5eC8Y0e0
It was at the end of the 2023 season that Waller announced his retirement, saying in a video on Instagram that his passion for the game had faded. A year later, he’s revealed the exact moment he knew he was playing his last season. He was only a few games into his lone season with the Giants when he knew it was over. (To be fair, it’s the Giants so...I get it.)
In a recent podcast, “The Side You Don’t See”, Waller reflected on that moment. During a game against the Bills, he found himself sitting on the sidelines and thinking, “What the f*** am I doing with my life?” That game confirmed to him that he would finish the season but walk away afterward.
“It was a game where it was really controversial because one of the guys held me at the end, and they didn’t call it,” said Waller. “It was in the first quarter of the game. We were running this counter lead running play, and I’m kind of like leading through the hole like I’m a fullback, and the play is working.”
“But I sit down on the sideline after like a drive where we ran like three times, and I’m like, what the f*** am I doing with my life? I’m out here playing fullback. I don’t even want to do this s*** anymore.”
“I’m just looking at the moon - it’s early first quarter (or) second quarter - and nobody else would really even know I am thinking this, but I’m on the sideline like, ‘Yep. I’m going to finish this year to the best of my ability, but I am definitely done after this year.’”
Waller ended the year with 552 receiving yards and one touchdown, while also battling a hamstring injury and a brief hospitalization. Off the field, he also experienced a personal shift, finalizing a divorce from WNBA star Kelsey Plum in April 2024.
He has since released some music, one song which was about his divorce, and another that attempted to explain his retirement. And he’s recently gone viral for a new video he released for his song called “Top Play”.
TRENDING: Former Pro Bowler Darren Waller released a new song ‘Top Play’ and it has gone viral on social media.
— MLFootball (@_MLFootball) June 14, 2025
😳
Waller retired from the #NFL to be a rapper.pic.twitter.com/dxoU0z8ABY
Waller expressed gratitude in his retirement announcement, saying, “We took it way farther than I ever could have imagined!” and looked forward to life beyond football.
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